Useless Heart
by Dyslexic CSI
Summary: "I am the heart and you are the beat and without the beat the heart cannot survive.  kibbs  oneshot


**Disclaimer: **I still own nothing of this brilliant creation, but I'm hoping to own it somewhere in the very far future.

**A/N: **This was writtenafter an agonizing week at work and lots of caffeine.

* * *

He woke up with a start. His forehead was damp with sweat and the cold had found its way to his body. Sitting straight up from the floor he could feel his muscles tensed and stressed. He was used to dealing with stress and tension at work. It was all part of the job. This time however it was a different kind of worry and stress and he knew it.

There was a chilly wind outside and the sun was trying it's best to come out from under all the cloud cover. He looked over at the clock and saw that it was still early. He had enough time to take a walk before work. He got up from the sleeping bag on the floor, stood up and stretched out. His muscles still felt stiff but he did not know why. He had been sleeping on the floor in the basement for a while now.

He walked up the stairs that led to the rest of the house. When he came to the landing he walked straight to the kitchen and switched on the coffee machine. It would take at least ten minutes to get ready. In that time he could have a shower and be dressed to go. He trudged to the bathroom and opened up the water. The feel of the warm water on his tense muscles was welcoming. He relaxed a little, but there was still a nagging feeling in the back of his mind.

He had been cooped up in his basement for the past three days. He needed to get out, even if it was for just a little while. Working in the basement hadn't stopped the feeling that he had nor did it help or comfort it in any way. He needed to get away from home, from work, from everyone. He was tired of answering the same questions everyday. "Are you okay? Would you like to talk about what happened? It's been a while and you still not fully recovered do you need someone to talk to?" he wanted to beat those people up. Besides what were they on about, he was perfectly fine

He got put of the shower as quickly as he could and dressed in half the time. He grabbed the coat laying on the sofa and left his coffee mug lying on the kitchen counter all forgotten. All that was in his head now was to get to her, no matter what. Without thinking he started walking towards an unfamiliar route. His legs were pulling him that way and he did not resist, he just went with it. The wind was getting stronger now so he pulled up the collar of his coat to try and block out the cold from his face.

His eyes were scanning the area until he found what he was unconsciously looking for. There she was, sitting on the bench on the far side of the park. As he approached the entrance gates to the park he saw an old lady selling flowers and he stopped to buy a bunch. He did not know anything about flowers he was not the type of guy that worried about flowers and gifts and small things like that. He always thought that they were a waste of time and money. This time however it was different. He wanted to show her how much he cared about her and how much she meant to him.

She looked like an angel. Her dark hair falling in small waves to her shoulders, her small body huddled together knees bent coming up to her chest to keep out the cold. Then he saw what he ached to see for a long time, her brown eyes dancing with mischief. They were the most amazingly captivating brown eyes he had ever come across in his life. She was exquisite and he was lucky to have her.

He walked up to the bench and sat down next to her. She turned to look at him and she smiled. It was a smile that he had not seen for a very, very long time. It was full and sincere and pure and it showed the dimple in her left cheek he loved that dimple. He gave her the bouquet and she gave another heart melting smile. It was the prettiest bouquet that there was. It was a dozen white roses with one red one in the centre. His heart skipped a beat at this smile and he knew at once that she liked it, he could feel it. It was a really long time since he had received a dimpled smile. Those were rare, only used on really special people and occasions. She was definitely his dream come true. He could not deny that fact.

The sun was still trying with all his might to shine through the clouds. It was considerably warmer now than when he had left home. Suddenly he heard the laughter of boys. There were a whole lot of children. They were running and screaming with delight. They were all so happy and carefree. He wished that he could also be like that. He got up grudgingly from the bench and went to play with football with them just for a while.

He returned to her half hour later, all hot and sweaty but very happy. He did not think that she would have waited for him but she did and he was grateful. She turned to look at him again and saw that his hair was messed up. His hair was always a humorous subject for her. It always made her smile. She looked at it and gave her million dollar smile again and his heart skipped another beat. If this carried on he would have to be admitted to hospital for an irregular heartbeat. He sat down next to her, this time making sure that he was as close to her as possible but not making her feel uncomfortable.

They sat and talked about everything that could come to their minds. They debated and saw the other's point of view and sometimes only listened just to hear the other's voice. He saw her shiver a little and he put his arms around her and she was grateful toward his gesture. It was the best feeling that he had in a long time. She was finally in his arms and he did not want anything to change. He wished that they could stay like that forever.

Then out of nowhere her expression changed. He could feel it without even looking at her face. She asked him "What would you do if I left you and never came back?" The question had winded him. He had never thought about that. There was a painful look in his deep blue eyes. He took a moment to think enclosed her hand in his and then replied "I am the heart and you are the beat and without the beat the heart cannot survive. The heart will be useless"

He closed his eyes and a tear rolled down his cheek. He wiped it away quickly. The wind started up again this time wilder than before and the cold was biting at his fingers and face. When he opened his eyes he was surprised to see that she was gone. The flowers were still in front of him but there was no bench or park or children playing there. He looked around and saw that he was sitting in the cemetery at a grave. He looked at the tombstone and the engraving on it. It said "Caitlin you will be missed dearly by mom dad and all friends." His heart ached with an overwhelming pain that he never felt before and he could not fathom.

He knew now that she was definitely never going to be his. He would never be able to see her dimpled smile, her hair flying in the breeze, or her captivating brown eyes sparkling with mischief. He would never be able to hear her voice again the way she said his name or greeted him in the morning. He would never be able to experience all the things that he took for granted with her.

His heartbeat had stopped and the heart was useless. Nothing could bring her back. Another tear ran down his cheek but this time he let it. There was no point in wiping it away, it was not going to bring her back. He knew that it was time to let her go even though he did not want to but there was just no heartbeat.

He had to let go…

FOREVER

* * *

**A/N 2: **Thank you to all my friends who helped me get through this week. I really could not have done it without you guys.

For all the readers I hope this is the last post twilight fic I'll ever write, since I like the Kate Gibbs pairing way too much.

To alix33 my new beta I didn't send this one to you cause I know how you feel about anything post twilight and I just could send you somethoing like this on a weekend.

That's it for now.

leave a review on your way out

hellraiser


End file.
